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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Things a Housewife Should Be Able to Do

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to be a housewife.  Some girls dream of being a famous actress, the first female president, an Olympic athlete, or Oprah.  I dreamed of being Lucille Ball, polka dot dress and witty comebacks included.

Of course when I graduated high school I was single with absolutely no prospects for marriage in sight.  So I did the next best thing and went to college.  By the time I graduated college I was still single and marriage was still a distant and almost forgotten dream.  Since a B.A. in Mathematics doesn't really prepare you for much other than graduate school, I went to graduate school.  It was there that I finally met the love of my life and miraculously tricked him into marrying me.   When he finally finished grad school himself and I no longer had to be the breadwinner, I had a baby and became a housewife.  My dream was finally reality.

I thought that being a housewife would be instinctual.  Every room in my house would be immaculate and decorated just like a page from Better Homes and Gardens.  I would be like Betty Draper (minus the depression) and always have an amazing meal on the table when my world-weary husband arrived home from work. 

Oh, the naivety.  Being a housewife is not instinctual, and it is not easy.  My house is a disaster-zone, my child always has dried-something-or-other on his face, my husband regularly goes to work in a wrinkly shirt, and by the time he arrives home from work I am often lying on the floor in the middle of the living room letting my child climb on me like I'm a piece of furniture.  It's a tough gig. 

So this leads me to the point of this post: Things a Housewife Should Be Able to Do.  Clearly I will never be the picture-perfect magazine-cover homemaker.  But there are a few things that I think it's high time I learned how to do.  So I've written down a few goals, and maybe I'll blog about how they turn out.  And maybe I won't.  Knowing my commitment to regular blogging, probably the latter.

Things a Housewife Should Be Able to Do.

  1. Cook a pot roast.
  2. Roast a chicken.
  3. Bake a pie (including homemade crust).
  4. Establish a regular cleaning routine.
  5. Give her child a haircut.
  6. Look presentable after a long day of toddler-chasing and housework.
I'm not sure #6 is actually possible.  If you are a housewife and you have accomplished this, please leave a comment with specific instructions on how I too can accomplish this. 

I've attempted #5 a couple times now, and still haven't mastered it.  I think I'll get it though with more practice.

Today I tackled #1, but I'll leave the details for a future post. 

So, dear reader(s), did I forget anything vital on that list?