Swag Bucks

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Things a Housewife Should Be Able to Do

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to be a housewife.  Some girls dream of being a famous actress, the first female president, an Olympic athlete, or Oprah.  I dreamed of being Lucille Ball, polka dot dress and witty comebacks included.

Of course when I graduated high school I was single with absolutely no prospects for marriage in sight.  So I did the next best thing and went to college.  By the time I graduated college I was still single and marriage was still a distant and almost forgotten dream.  Since a B.A. in Mathematics doesn't really prepare you for much other than graduate school, I went to graduate school.  It was there that I finally met the love of my life and miraculously tricked him into marrying me.   When he finally finished grad school himself and I no longer had to be the breadwinner, I had a baby and became a housewife.  My dream was finally reality.

I thought that being a housewife would be instinctual.  Every room in my house would be immaculate and decorated just like a page from Better Homes and Gardens.  I would be like Betty Draper (minus the depression) and always have an amazing meal on the table when my world-weary husband arrived home from work. 

Oh, the naivety.  Being a housewife is not instinctual, and it is not easy.  My house is a disaster-zone, my child always has dried-something-or-other on his face, my husband regularly goes to work in a wrinkly shirt, and by the time he arrives home from work I am often lying on the floor in the middle of the living room letting my child climb on me like I'm a piece of furniture.  It's a tough gig. 

So this leads me to the point of this post: Things a Housewife Should Be Able to Do.  Clearly I will never be the picture-perfect magazine-cover homemaker.  But there are a few things that I think it's high time I learned how to do.  So I've written down a few goals, and maybe I'll blog about how they turn out.  And maybe I won't.  Knowing my commitment to regular blogging, probably the latter.

Things a Housewife Should Be Able to Do.

  1. Cook a pot roast.
  2. Roast a chicken.
  3. Bake a pie (including homemade crust).
  4. Establish a regular cleaning routine.
  5. Give her child a haircut.
  6. Look presentable after a long day of toddler-chasing and housework.
I'm not sure #6 is actually possible.  If you are a housewife and you have accomplished this, please leave a comment with specific instructions on how I too can accomplish this. 

I've attempted #5 a couple times now, and still haven't mastered it.  I think I'll get it though with more practice.

Today I tackled #1, but I'll leave the details for a future post. 

So, dear reader(s), did I forget anything vital on that list?


  1. #1: so impressed that you are trying a pot roast and can't wait to hear how it turns out!!
    #3: homemade crust is over-rated!! hannafords regfridgerated one is the best i've found!
    #6: stay in your pjs, and leave the shower and dressing until just before hubby gets home ;)

  2. Nice blog, I enjoyed the read. The above comment is totally correct about #6! And for a little added fun you could time the shower a little later so you are still in the shower when hubby gets home. I'm sure once he finds you he won't mind that dinner will be a little later ;-)

  3. I never accomplished #5 and after the haircut your father gave your sister I'm surprised you're even considering it. Every now and then you'll have that day when hubby comes home and you're house is spic and span, your child is smiling like the cherub he's been all day and you, my dear housewife, are dressed to kill with nary a spot of flour on you and dinner is ready and waiting. Those days are golden, but most likely not as fun as all the other days you feel you've accomplished nothing. I agree with Briana and Dominique .. just enjoy being the awesome Mom and wife that you are.

  4. #1. Congrats on your first pot roast! I remember when I was in your shoes a few years ago I was way more Suzie Homemaker then I am now, WAY MORE. I spent a lot of time in the kitchen cooking everything from scratch, even noodles. My favorite thing was to bake but givin that NOBODY in our house needs the extra calories that went by the way side a long time ago. So maybe every once in awhile someone around here will attempt to bake something. And the crock pot is now my best friend for every type of meat.

    #5. I started cutting the boy's hair when they were babies. How did I accomplish this task? I do it while they were sleeping. Attack one side then gently turn their head and the get the other. Luckily they slept right through it. I've been cutting their hair ever since.

    Maybe you and all the other mommies out there would like this blog to follow. I went to high school with the girl who writes this. She's got FABULOUS recipes and healthy things that your kids and the whole family will enjoy! http://foodlets.wordpress.com/

    Thanks for sharing your homemaker experiences. I can relate as that has been my life for 19 years!


  5. 1-3 are doable-- you are smart and can read, just choose a good recipe and go with it! It may take a few tries, but you'll do fine. Good luck with #4, I've been dreaming about that for many long years! #5 is hit or miss-- sometimes they look fine, sometimes I just hope we don't have to take pictures anytime in the next 2 weeks. And for #6? It is the law that your husband has to call about 10 minutes before he gets home to alert you-- long enough to throw on decent clothes, run a comb through your hair, and maybe even clear a path through the toys! Good luck with your housewife ambitions! :-)